i am absolutely in heart with the phrase:
denied placing the digit in her bowl
this striking string of words is in several of the latest scoops on the chili-finger-lady. but whatever. i like to say it.
which reminds me of something i am absolutely NOT in heart with:
people talking on their phones while on the toilet. i mean fuck! come on! cannot your call wait?
so today at work in the *seriously improbable restroom, i walk in to piss and some chick is full on chatting about stuff while in her stall. so even though i was only pissing i made sure to moan and groan like i did in childbirth and flush the toilet MANY times. i hope her phonefriend now knows what a scumbag she is.
*seriously improbable restroom = typical little restroom four stalls with the typical little metal stall doors. pretty probable, right? sure…. unless i inform you that EVERY time i go in there and there is no one there the third stall door is rebelling against the state of the other three doors. and i am talking if no one is in any of the stalls. if the thrid door is closed -not closed & locked, just not wide open… the other three are WIDE OPEN. this is usually the case.
i didn’t even notice the improbability for a few months. i just assumed that that door hinge likes to swing shut while the others do not…. but then i started noticing on the occasions that the third door is even slightly ajar, the other three are CLOSED. what the fuck. and yes, i’ve been keeping a tally sheet since like january of times this does not happen…. TWICE.
oh, and i totally didn’t mind paying 9 bucks and 99 cents to get movies and whatnot for a month in an effort to get doc a laptop, but my obligatory month is coming to a close, my duty has been fulfilled, so i am canceling my blockfucker video membership thing.
and… yes… it’s true blockfucker… i am canceling for the reason indicated.
and i’d rather speak of it no more.